Libido in the time of COVID-19

Libido in the time of COVID-19

Fight or flight? Survive, thrive and procreate, these are the two basic instincts of human behavior controlled by the Nervous system. The first stimulates the sympathetic nervous system (SNS) which controls the body’s responses to a perceived threat by stopping digestion, triggering stress hormones such as adrenaline and cortisol plus prolactin, the celibacy hormone. It shuts down the lateral thinking parts of the brain, it contracts the vagina and releases the bladder. However, the second, parasympathetic nervous system (PNS) is the opposite.  It controls natural balance in the body so it can relax, rest, digest, thrive and procreate.

At this time of COVID-19, most people seem to be falling into the first response section and procreating is the furthest from their mind. This flight or fight response is ok if you are under immediate threat but on a long-term basis, the body and mind will become unwell, causing the very situation that you were trying to avoid. So how can we calm down and replenish joyful love into everyday living? In my last blog, I described how to bring romance back to life with spontaneity and trying new things. But maybe you aren’t there, perhaps there has been too much change and you are feeling terrified in a world that doesn’t seem so certain anymore. Attending to your libido seems the furthest from your mind and that’s ok right now. You have to dig where you stand and take action in a way that suits you. So rather than forcing your sex drive to kick start, begin by simply increasing calm and focusing on relaxation, good health will follow.

Infographic from Good Food: Better Sex

The Kidney and Bladder are the organs in the 5element system of Traditional Chinese Medicine that govern the nervous system. Working on these meridians can release tension from the muscles, relax the organs and improve the breathing so that oxygen can feed the body and the mind. In Traditional Chinese Medicine, we use food, acupuncture points and Chi Gong exercise to balance and relax the body.  The good news is that it is relatively easy to help the body switch to the parasympathetic nervous system where all parts of the brain are in use, heart rate slows, digestion, absorption and elimination of food happens. It also allows the erection of the penis plus lubrication and opening of the vagina to take place, all you need to do is breathe.

Many practices blend body and breath such as Chi Gong, Ujjayi breathing, Yoga and Tai Chi. Here I share a couple of simple breathing exercises from Good Food: Better Sex.

The first exercise – place your hands on your belly, just below the navel. Take some large breaths. As you breathe in feel your hands rise and as you breathe out feel your hands fall. The belly will decrease as the diaphragm pushes the air out. Focus especially on the out-breath. Breath out as long as possible, right to the end of the breath and hold it for three seconds, let the in-breath take care of itself. Do this at least ten times. Taking your attention along with your palms to the area just below the belly button.

The second exercise – sweep your arms up overhead to gather the energy all around you as you breathe in. As you breathe out, bring down your palms over the front of your face and body, as they come to your belly take them to the back, over the kidneys, sweeping them down the backs of the legs and up the inner legs. Come to rest with your palms holding just below your belly button. Do this ten times and feel your body relaxed, kidney’s restored and nervous system reset.

In the book you will find more exercises including breast and testicular massage, practiced to increase health and longevity, plus beneficial acupressure points and food medicine.

You don’t need a partner to have Good Food: Better Sex you simply have to be your own best lover. Put your health and wellness first and good things will follow. It is perfectly normal that libido changes especially during times of an unforeseen pandemic and hormonal shifts. Don’t begin to think there is something wrong with you or your relationship. Just breathe, and know that all this will pass.

If you would like to work with me to increase your vitality and energy, to connect with your body, balancing hormones and jump starting your libido – why not book a 1-1 session with me  and I can help you access the innate health of your body, to tune-in with your sexual energy which in Chinese Medicine is at the core of feeling well and ageing slowly.

I can help you know which points to press, which foods to eat and how to communicate with your body


Good Food, Better Sex during Lockdown?

Good Food, Better Sex during Lockdown?

Maybe you made promises to have and to hold, love and cherish your partner till death did you part but I wonder if that included lockdown situations?  With the occasional burst of entertainment, mixed with long stretches with no other company, you may not be so beguiled by each other.  Nowadays you can Netflix and Chill every night, but I wonder how that is working out for you, how is your relationship now that you are living together 24/7? Are you trying new things or has the boredom of lockdown seeped into the bedroom?

One area in which people do seem to be trying new things is in the kitchen. On social media, it seems like we are all experimenting with food. Everyone is posting their banana bread, buttermilk scones and sourdough starter.  There’s lots of playing with food, experimenting and trying new things. With time on our hands, we are changing and adapting to our new situation by refreshing our menu and falling in love with food all over again.

Romance is something that is on the table at the beginning of a relationship when two people are learning about each other.  Couples take each other out to dinner.  They cook for each other, curious to discover the other person’s likes and dislikes. Shared food is a shared pleasure, all the more exciting when things are new. However, romance becomes stale when you get stuck in a rut.  When you get up at the same time, do the same things, cook the same food, watch the same TV, go to bed with the same routine, and even lovemaking can become repetitive.  However allowing change, even promoting change within the relationship will keep it alive.  So just like trying new recipes, embrace this COVID-19 altered pace of life during lockdown by trying new things in your relationship.  Base your love upon the fundamental truth that everything changes. If a relationship can change, it can remain fresh and romantic.
Perhaps this is why there has been a sharp rise in sales of the book Good Food: Better Sex.  This book mixes the health benefits of food in Traditional Chinese Medicine with sexual health practices found in Tantra and Taoism.  There are fun simple exercises with food such as blindfold play with home-made chocolate covered strawberries. There is a recipe for natural lube with guidance on how to use it, and plenty of practical exercises to bond you and your partner from different ways of touch and ways to say yes and no.

Then there is the food.  With over 100 different recipes to improve all areas of sexual health, try tasting something new together from watermelon and beetroot juice with its viagra effects, to the gentle spices of onion pilaf and Kashmiri cauliflower which boost immunity and ease the digestive system.  Try the oat milk pancakes with pecans and natural yogurt for a perfect Sunday brunch to calm the nervous system, boost fertility, and raise libido.
• 100g oats
• 100g buckwheat flour
• 350ml milk (almond and brown rice milk also works well)
1 egg
• Pinch of salt

Liquidize the oats, buckwheat flour, eggs and milk so that it becomes a milky mixture. Make sure there are no lumps before leaving to rest for at least half an hour.  In a large non-stick pan, melt a nob of butter and coat the pan with it. Pour a ladleful (approx. 50ml) of the prepared pancake mixture onto the pan, tilting it so that it covers the base with a thin coating. These are a crepe style pancake rather than a thick American pancake. When bubbles begin to form on the top of the batter in the pan, flip and cook for another couple of minutes. Slide from the pan onto a plate, dolloping natural yogurt on top with a drizzle of maple syrup and sprinkle with chopped pecans.

Good Food: Better Sex focuses on how the body responds to food using flavours, colours, seasons and the senses. It makes it easy and straightforward for you and your partner to try something new and exciting with food.  So instead of eating your dinner in front of the TV together, why not bring back the romance and surprise each other by trying something new? When we emerge from Lockdown, you can look back at this time as having enjoyed deepening connections, Good Food and hopefully Better Sex.

I can teach you how to understand your body and take control of all areas of your health.  How to become more body confident, loving your food, loving your body and loving your life.

Courses include: 2 Online Consultations, regular Q&A check in’s, PLUS Copy of Conscious Cookbook sent straight to your door
PLUS 30 Days / 30 Videos – bitesize cookery programs, Chi-Gong exercises, and self-shiatsu acupressure points in your own home.

Choose from:

  1. Stopping Sweet Cravings
  2. Sexy Savvy Menopause
  3. Reduce Pain in Fibromyalgia  and Chronic Fatigue
  4. Good Food: Better Health & Sexual Energy

Watch the video to find out more at