Building an Emotionally Healthy Heart

Building an Emotionally Healthy Heart

HEALTH & WELLNESS

Building an Emotionally Healthy Heart: Tools for Connection and Resilience

In our fast-paced, often disconnected world, creating a healthy heart goes beyond physical well-being, it involves nurturing our emotional and spiritual energy. Cultivating emotional resilience, understanding our triggers, and fostering healthy relationships with others are all key components of heart health. In the Chi Flow with Jo Podcast, we dive deep into these concepts, discussing practical tools and transformative practices to build an emotionally healthy heart.

This blog explores the key challenges many face in creating emotionally healthy relationships, both with ourselves and others, and provides actionable solutions for moving forward.

1. Navigating Emotional Sensitivity with Resilience

Emotional sensitivity can be a gift, but it can also be overwhelming, especially when we absorb the emotions of those around us. Many people, particularly those who are highly empathetic, feel deeply, which can lead to emotional burnout if not managed properly. Without the right tools, this sensitivity can feel like a burden rather than a gift.

Solution:

The key to emotional resilience lies in developing practices that help you remain grounded, without shutting down or distancing yourself from the world around you. Practices like mindfulness, energy movement, such as Qi Gong, and emotional self-regulation are essential for building this resilience. These tools help you stay present to your feelings while avoiding being overwhelmed by them, allowing you to embrace your sensitivity as a strength rather than a vulnerability.  To learn more about staying emotionally resilient, listen to the full podcast, where Maya and I explore tools for staying open, grounded, and sensitive in a complex world.

2. Overcoming Childhood Beliefs and Trauma

Many women carry deep-rooted beliefs formed in childhood that continue to influence their adult lives. One such belief that many struggle with is the feeling of unworthiness, especially if their early experiences involved abuse or trauma. These beliefs often show up in relationships, causing defensiveness, self-doubt, and difficulty accepting love.

Solution:

A powerful tool for transforming limiting beliefs is The Work of Byron Katie, which involves questioning the assumptions we make about ourselves and others. This method is incredibly effective for reframing negative thought patterns and replacing them with empowering beliefs.

For instance, in my own personal journey, I carried beliefs formed from childhood sexual abuse that made me believe I was unsafe when I was visible or attractive. This belief stayed with me for years, influencing my relationships and self-worth. Through working with Maya and using tools like Byron Katie’s method, I was able to challenge this belief and transform it. 

This deep healing allowed me to step into my power and publish my book, Good Food, Better Sex a guide that not only explores physical health but also highlights the importance of healthy relationships with ourselves and others. If you’re struggling with deeply ingrained beliefs from the past, the upcoming mid monthly health talk, Maya will demonstrate a session which will offer insights on how to confront and heal them, making space for a more empowered and fulfilling life. 

Reflective Listening for Healthier Relationships

In our relationships, we often fall into the pattern of wanting to be heard before we truly listen. This is especially true when emotional triggers arise. However, when we rush to defend our point of view or assert that we are “right,” we miss the opportunity to connect and understand the other person’s perspective.

Solution:
 One transformative tool for improving communication is Reflective Listening, which involves listening attentively to the other person’s point of view, reflecting it back, and showing empathy before sharing your own perspective. This method fosters a sense of safety, allowing both parties to feel heard and valued. Reflective listening not only improves relationships but also creates a deeper emotional bond built on trust and mutual respect.

4. Building Emotional Resilience in Community Living

Living in an intentional community presents unique challenges but also provides powerful opportunities for growth. Maya lives in a sustainable community in Portugal, where collective living requires constant emotional regulation and conflict resolution. Unlike the typical individualistic mindset, community living demands a deep commitment to listening, empathy, and understanding, especially when difficult situations arise.

Solution:

In Maya’s community, the tools for conflict resolution and emotional regulation include techniques like Nonviolent Communication (NVC) and social harmonizing, which foster open, honest dialogue without blame or defensiveness. These tools are designed to help individuals express their feelings and needs in a way that invites cooperation rather than conflict. By practicing vulnerability and accepting feedback, community members

5.  Transforming Reactive Patterns into Proactive Communication

In relationships, it’s easy to fall into a cycle of reactivity, where both people defend their position rather than listen and understand the other’s perspective. This often leads to unnecessary conflict and emotional disconnect.

Solution:

Imago Dialogue is a powerful method that encourages partners to listen actively and reflectively, fostering a deeper connection and resolving conflicts in a healthy way.

By focusing on curiosity and empathy rather than asserting our own needs first, we create space for mutual understanding and healing.

This process helps us move from a reactive state to a more proactive and compassionate way of communicating.

6. Living in Community: The Power of Connection

While emotional self-regulation and healthy communication are vital for an emotionally healthy heart, there’s also great value in living in community. Maya’s experience living in a sustainable community has shown her the power of collective healing and emotional support. In this type of environment, there are multiple opportunities for growth and self-discovery, as everyone’s personal challenges and triggers come to the forefront.

Solution:

For those seeking a deeper connection to others, living in community can provide a fast track to emotional growth. In Maya’s community, the focus is on self-responsibility, vulnerability, and creating safe spaces for honest communication. This kind of environment encourages individuals to step into their authenticity, accept feedback, and use conflict as a tool for personal and collective evolution.

🌕 Join Us This Month in Chi Flow with Jo

If you’re intrigued by the idea of intentional living and community building, listen to the full podcast where Maya shares her experiences and the challenges of living in a group setting. This conversation will inspire those looking for ways to build deeper connections and create resilient communities.

Creating an emotionally healthy heart requires a commitment to understanding and healing ourselves and our relationships. Whether you’re working on transforming limiting beliefs, improving communication with your partner, or learning how to live more harmoniously in a community, the tools shared in this blog can help you create stronger connections and greater emotional resilience.
Ready to transform your heart and relationships?

Watch Healthy Heart, Mind and Body with Maya Benharroch HERE.

You can also listen to the Chi Flow with Jo Podcast for more in-depth discussions on these practices.

💗 Ready to Join?

Click here to become a member of Chi Flow with Jo → CLICK HERE

Or drop in for a class and feel it for yourself (sign up below).


Join the Chi Flow with Jo community for live sessions, practice, and support on your journey.

Self-administered acupressure or Chinese Medicine is not a substitute for visits to qualified healthcare practitioners.

Knowing how to treat yourself and your loved ones with complimentary therapies like acupressure can be greatly beneficial and convenient. However, for serious and chronic conditions, you’ll want to visit an Shiatsu therapist / Acupuncturist or other qualified healthcare practitioner who can develop a treatment plan based on your unique medical history and combination of symptoms.  

The information provided should not be considered medical advice.

Lying in the Sweet Summer Grass

Lying in the Sweet Summer Grass

Energy of Food Blog

As I write my head is a whirl, a mess of knotty thoughts that won’t unravel. I’ve had the bones and the desire to write this post for a few months now about the stomach spleen and how it’s responsible for energy transformation and distribution, yet it won’t formulate into a clear coherent line of thought and then it comes to me ….

It is this chaotic state of mind that I need to write about. I need to enter the confusion and enjoy the process, to see what comes rather than write this blog as another job to tick off the never ending “to do” list that makes me into the person I think I am. I could write easily of needing to mother the child in me blah blah, eat sweet veg such as carrots blah blah and that would reinforce Jo as the person who writes about Shiatsu & Conscious Cooking.

Today I will write from a place of playful exploration rather than efficient multi-tasker. I am more than my everyday logical mind, I can tap into a larger field of consciousness and come up with creative thought way beyond what I imagined was possible. So here goes…

Stomach/spleen energy covers mental thought and activity, we chew over ideas or if we over think things we get knots in our stomach. This mental capacity of needing to sort things out, to put things in place or arrive at logical conclusions gives us a feeling of control and security in an ever changing world.

However it is not this logical mind that brings us true security, it is the clear mind free from thoughts of the past and desires for the future where we find peace and stability, Like the bright blue sky which may be obscured by emotional clouds, thoughts and events, it is always there showing us its always blue and everything will be ok in the end.

We must trust in the mystery of life, relax into the flow and receive the abundance that comes from the void. We don’t have to do it all and we are not responsible for everything. Over mothering will deplete the stomach/spleen energy.

Sometimes I have difficulty accessing this state of mind and definitely have trouble holding onto it. There can be a discomfort in silence and letting go that not thinking creates. But it is silent connecting to what is, the changing energy of life, without needing to control what is that brings true nurturing and security.

Tidying up the kitchen, finishing a business plan or solving a mathematical equation brings momentary satisfaction but there will always be more mess to clean and more problems to solve so unless we can relax into the understanding that we never get it finished, we will wear ourselves out filling our lives with short term fixes or turn to substances such as chocolate or narcotics to gratify and fill the void.

The stomach/spleen sensory organ is the mouth so it is no surprise that in times of instability and uncertainty we can use this organ to ground us either by eating, smoking and even kissing. In different ways all these actions use the mouth to bring us satisfaction just like a baby suckling on a nipple.

However these are short lived fixes and we need to take care they don’t become addictions especially when we consider that the flavour for this season is sweet. All too easy when we need to feel secure to head for the chocolate or the biscuits.

Nothing is inherently wrong but if we use a substance or action to escape from our situation it does not solve the problem it merely weakens us and if stomach/spleen energy becomes weak it creates dampness in the digestive system which can accumulate and become phlegm.

Symptoms manifest as heavy, tired muscles, candida, thrush, eczema, asthma and of course being overweight. The mind becomes cloudy and thinking goes around and around. So to break the cycle and support the stomach and spleen consciously you could try the following

  • Eat plenty of grains such as millet, brown rice, quinoa and barley
  • Avoid carbohydrates such as pasta, bread and potatoes as these are broken down using insulin and changed into sugars. If there is too much insulin the body looses magnesium which is essential to synthesize these carbs into energy. This leads to the heavy tiredness discussed above
  • Eat warm sweet foods such as carrots, parsnips, squash, sweet potato
  • Cooking food begins the digestive process. Too much raw, cold food can build up dampness in the body
  • Chew, chew, chew – essential for the digestive process
  • Chickpeas are great for clearing spleen damp
  • Don’t drink water whilst eating, it puts out the digestive fire
  • Find time to sit on the grass and feel the support of the earth, relax the mind knowing that everything is perfect as it is

If I’m very honest and personal I think my mind is whirling because I’ve just finished dating a guy and am swirling adrift once again in the sea of singles. No more hugs for a while (great for the stomach and spleen; see blog on children) means that I have to be careful not to go off into organisational overdrive so instead, carrot sticks and humus, lie on the grass in my back garden, drink in the perfection of the present moment and cornflakes on the kitchen floor.

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We offer a free class at the end of the month so you can try Chi Flow before you join.
Membership is only €39 per month, with over 20 classes included each month.
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You are warmly welcome to practise with us and discover your own flow.


💗 Ready to Join?

Click here to become a member of Chi Flow with Jo → CLICK HERE

Or drop in for a class and feel it for yourself (sign up below). Join the Chi Flow with Jo community for live sessions, practice, and support.

You don’t need to have it all worked out.
You just need something gentle to lean into, one day at a time.

    

Self-administered acupressure or Chinese Medicine is not a substitute for visits to qualified healthcare practitioners.

Knowing how to treat yourself and your loved ones with complimentary therapies like acupressure can be greatly beneficial and convenient. However, for serious and chronic conditions, you’ll want to visit an Shiatsu therapist / Acupuncturist or other qualified healthcare practitioner who can develop a treatment plan based on your unique medical history and combination of symptoms.

The information provided should not be considered medical advice.