Building an Emotionally Healthy Heart

Building an Emotionally Healthy Heart

HEALTH & WELLNESS

Building an Emotionally Healthy Heart: Tools for Connection and Resilience

In our fast-paced, often disconnected world, creating a healthy heart goes beyond physical well-being, it involves nurturing our emotional and spiritual energy. Cultivating emotional resilience, understanding our triggers, and fostering healthy relationships with others are all key components of heart health. In the Chi Flow with Jo Podcast, we dive deep into these concepts, discussing practical tools and transformative practices to build an emotionally healthy heart.

This blog explores the key challenges many face in creating emotionally healthy relationships, both with ourselves and others, and provides actionable solutions for moving forward.

1. Navigating Emotional Sensitivity with Resilience

Emotional sensitivity can be a gift, but it can also be overwhelming, especially when we absorb the emotions of those around us. Many people, particularly those who are highly empathetic, feel deeply, which can lead to emotional burnout if not managed properly. Without the right tools, this sensitivity can feel like a burden rather than a gift.

Solution:

The key to emotional resilience lies in developing practices that help you remain grounded, without shutting down or distancing yourself from the world around you. Practices like mindfulness, energy movement, such as Qi Gong, and emotional self-regulation are essential for building this resilience. These tools help you stay present to your feelings while avoiding being overwhelmed by them, allowing you to embrace your sensitivity as a strength rather than a vulnerability.  To learn more about staying emotionally resilient, listen to the full podcast, where Maya and I explore tools for staying open, grounded, and sensitive in a complex world.

2. Overcoming Childhood Beliefs and Trauma

Many women carry deep-rooted beliefs formed in childhood that continue to influence their adult lives. One such belief that many struggle with is the feeling of unworthiness, especially if their early experiences involved abuse or trauma. These beliefs often show up in relationships, causing defensiveness, self-doubt, and difficulty accepting love.

Solution:

A powerful tool for transforming limiting beliefs is The Work of Byron Katie, which involves questioning the assumptions we make about ourselves and others. This method is incredibly effective for reframing negative thought patterns and replacing them with empowering beliefs.

For instance, in my own personal journey, I carried beliefs formed from childhood sexual abuse that made me believe I was unsafe when I was visible or attractive. This belief stayed with me for years, influencing my relationships and self-worth. Through working with Maya and using tools like Byron Katie’s method, I was able to challenge this belief and transform it. 

This deep healing allowed me to step into my power and publish my book, Good Food, Better Sex a guide that not only explores physical health but also highlights the importance of healthy relationships with ourselves and others. If you’re struggling with deeply ingrained beliefs from the past, the upcoming mid monthly health talk, Maya will demonstrate a session which will offer insights on how to confront and heal them, making space for a more empowered and fulfilling life. 

Reflective Listening for Healthier Relationships

In our relationships, we often fall into the pattern of wanting to be heard before we truly listen. This is especially true when emotional triggers arise. However, when we rush to defend our point of view or assert that we are “right,” we miss the opportunity to connect and understand the other person’s perspective.

Solution:
 One transformative tool for improving communication is Reflective Listening, which involves listening attentively to the other person’s point of view, reflecting it back, and showing empathy before sharing your own perspective. This method fosters a sense of safety, allowing both parties to feel heard and valued. Reflective listening not only improves relationships but also creates a deeper emotional bond built on trust and mutual respect.

4. Building Emotional Resilience in Community Living

Living in an intentional community presents unique challenges but also provides powerful opportunities for growth. Maya lives in a sustainable community in Portugal, where collective living requires constant emotional regulation and conflict resolution. Unlike the typical individualistic mindset, community living demands a deep commitment to listening, empathy, and understanding, especially when difficult situations arise.

Solution:

In Maya’s community, the tools for conflict resolution and emotional regulation include techniques like Nonviolent Communication (NVC) and social harmonizing, which foster open, honest dialogue without blame or defensiveness. These tools are designed to help individuals express their feelings and needs in a way that invites cooperation rather than conflict. By practicing vulnerability and accepting feedback, community members

5.  Transforming Reactive Patterns into Proactive Communication

In relationships, it’s easy to fall into a cycle of reactivity, where both people defend their position rather than listen and understand the other’s perspective. This often leads to unnecessary conflict and emotional disconnect.

Solution:

Imago Dialogue is a powerful method that encourages partners to listen actively and reflectively, fostering a deeper connection and resolving conflicts in a healthy way.

By focusing on curiosity and empathy rather than asserting our own needs first, we create space for mutual understanding and healing.

This process helps us move from a reactive state to a more proactive and compassionate way of communicating.

6. Living in Community: The Power of Connection

While emotional self-regulation and healthy communication are vital for an emotionally healthy heart, there’s also great value in living in community. Maya’s experience living in a sustainable community has shown her the power of collective healing and emotional support. In this type of environment, there are multiple opportunities for growth and self-discovery, as everyone’s personal challenges and triggers come to the forefront.

Solution:

For those seeking a deeper connection to others, living in community can provide a fast track to emotional growth. In Maya’s community, the focus is on self-responsibility, vulnerability, and creating safe spaces for honest communication. This kind of environment encourages individuals to step into their authenticity, accept feedback, and use conflict as a tool for personal and collective evolution.

🌕 Join Us This Month in Chi Flow with Jo

If you’re intrigued by the idea of intentional living and community building, listen to the full podcast where Maya shares her experiences and the challenges of living in a group setting. This conversation will inspire those looking for ways to build deeper connections and create resilient communities.

Creating an emotionally healthy heart requires a commitment to understanding and healing ourselves and our relationships. Whether you’re working on transforming limiting beliefs, improving communication with your partner, or learning how to live more harmoniously in a community, the tools shared in this blog can help you create stronger connections and greater emotional resilience.
Ready to transform your heart and relationships?

Watch Healthy Heart, Mind and Body with Maya Benharroch HERE.

You can also listen to the Chi Flow with Jo Podcast for more in-depth discussions on these practices.

💗 Ready to Join?

Click here to become a member of Chi Flow with Jo → CLICK HERE

Or drop in for a class and feel it for yourself (sign up below).


Join the Chi Flow with Jo community for live sessions, practice, and support on your journey.

Self-administered acupressure or Chinese Medicine is not a substitute for visits to qualified healthcare practitioners.

Knowing how to treat yourself and your loved ones with complimentary therapies like acupressure can be greatly beneficial and convenient. However, for serious and chronic conditions, you’ll want to visit an Shiatsu therapist / Acupuncturist or other qualified healthcare practitioner who can develop a treatment plan based on your unique medical history and combination of symptoms.  

The information provided should not be considered medical advice.

Shout to let it all out

Shout to let it all out

Energy of Food Blog

This month in Ireland, a young teacher, Aishling Murphy was murdered as she took an afternoon run along the canal. There was an outpouring of grief and anger as people found their voice to express their feelings of fury, outrage and sadness. Raising the awareness and calling for a stop to violent crime against women.

As I am parenting 3 young men, 19, 19 and 16 I thought it would be a good idea to have a conversation about being aware of violent crime against women by men. They became very angry, understanding my discussion as a personal attack towards them, as men.

What do we do with all this anger? It’s scary stuff. Bourne from fear, anger is a powerful response used to protect ourselves. We can use it to make others wrong, whilst we are right. But dividing and separating, making one gender/food/action/religion right and another wrong, leads to hatred and more fear. As the Buddha wisely said “in this world, hate never yet dispelled hate. Only love dispels hate.”

It can be hard to love when we feel fear, scared that we, like Aishling, might be randomly attacked.
But questioning fears and judgements with “What is causing my fear? Is it real or imagined? means more likely that we live in love and act from compassion.
This doesn’t mean letting people walk all over you or allowing atrocities or violent crime, but it means your actions are from love not from fear, and that always has a different outcome.

In theory that sounds great, but how do we do this in practice?…… By working with the Liver. In Chinese Medicine this organ is associated with anger. It’s powerful; the only organ in the body that can regrow.

By understanding the Liver using the 5 elements of Chinese medicine, we can work with the powerful strength of this energy. When the fear wound is triggered, anger rushes to protect. But if our Liver energy is balanced, we can retain perspective and vision in the fear, so hope and positive action can come, from where the hurt lies.

The Liver governs the sinews and tendons, managing flexibility and flow. It is essential that the liver energy can express itself either by drawing, painting, dancing, choosing what to wear, what to eat or how to style your hair. The energy of life wants to express itself with your unique voice. If self expression is curtailed the energy can turn inward and lead to depression or bubble under the surface, only to explode like a volcano.

So use your voice, shake your body and shout out loud. If you feel like you want to scream and shout – do it !! not at someone but get a pillow and punch it.

Bang your fists on the bed, get it out, let it out.  Use your voice, cry, laugh, shout, sing let it all out, get it all out, because “the part of you that is suffering, is the part that calls in change and you don’t have to feel ashamed, there is nothing to forgive. The part of you that is crying out is the part that wants to live”  *Hope comes – The Bensons

Accessing and expressing your rage is an opportunity for hope and action that can change the world. By accessing the emotion we are more likely to transform it to love and compassionate action rather than transfer it through fear and blame.

Working with this organ and meridian system with acupressure, food and mindfulness we can prevent the hot headed rage that clouds our vision and impairs our heart.

The Liver loves sour foods to clear the organ especially Umeboshi plum.  Legend has it that the Samurai warrior carried this amazing ingredient in a pouch as a field ration, and after battle they would take a taste to “take the war out of the man” and harmonise the system.

The simplest way is to take this amazing ingredient is 1/2 tsp of the umeboshi plum paste added to a mug of hot water. Dissolve and drink down.
Find plenty of recipes using this fantastic ingredient in my books
On the flip side avoid fatty, rich foods such as ice-cream, red meat, sugary drinks, cheese and alcohol as these congest the liver. You may find you are quick to hot headed, uncontrolled outbursts if your diet is full of these foods.

The Liver’s sensory organ is the eye so be aware of what you are focusing on. Let your focus linger on things that make you feel good.
If you are overthinking a problem, take a break, shift your focus for a minute or two, look at something that gives you pleasure – the clouds, flowers, photo’s of amazing people or places. Put a song on that makes you happy.
This isn’t the same as putting your head in the sand and ignoring a problem but it’s giving perspective and a wider view – this will help the body loosen and the energy flow.
Take your perspective wide, become aware of the miracle that you are, stuck by gravity, to a planet spinning at 1000miles per hour in one of two trillion galaxies as part of an ever expanding universe.

Why not sign up for a FREE Qi Gong session on the last weekday of each month covering energy exercises, acupressure points and 5 element food tips to shift your energy and feel balanced

Emotional Healing & Community Support

The weight we carry isn’t just on our hips, it’s in our hearts.
 Feeling like you “want to be minded” is your body’s cry for nurture, not discipline.

When you join Chi Flow with Jo, you don’t walk alone.
We move, fast, cook and heal together. That shared energy keeps you accountable and loved through change.

You don’t need to fight your bodyjust listen to her again.
Start with small rhythms: stop eating after 8 pm, massage Liver 13, sip lemon water in the morning, and join our January program to be supported every step of the way.

💗 Ready to Join?

Click here to become a member of Chi Flow with Jo → CLICK HERE

Or drop in for a class and feel it for yourself (sign up below). Join the Chi Flow with Jo community for live sessions, practice, and support.

Self-administered acupressure or Chinese Medicine is not a substitute for visits to qualified healthcare practitioners.

Knowing how to treat yourself and your loved ones with complimentary therapies like acupressure can be greatly beneficial and convenient. However, for serious and chronic conditions, you’ll want to visit an Shiatsu therapist / Acupuncturist or other qualified healthcare practitioner who can develop a treatment plan based on your unique medical history and combination of symptoms.

The information provided should not be considered medical advice.

Will I, Won’t I?

Will I, Won’t I?

Energy of Food Blog

Before going to Sardinia I bumped into a guy I’d had coffee with once. There was a spark, a giggle and definite chemistry so I smiled to receive an email the next day that began . “What I had a date with her and I didn’t make love or get to know her what a fuckin idiot”… it made me chuckle but I declined the offer of another meet up because at the moment I’m looking to fall madly, passionately and completely in love and I think he’s a dangerous man to fall in love with.

I felt good though. So feeling sexy, vibrant and attractive, I flew for a week in the sun. Having time to lie by the pool gave me time to think, to chew and to ponder …. Had I made the right decision, perhaps this was the love of my life passing me by? Perhaps I was actually being fearful of falling in love, of losing control and of getting what I actually wanted. Backwards and forwards my mind went, which way shall I go, what’s the right decision? As I baked under the Sardinian sun my head was melting. It was only when the chill of an Irish morning enveloped me as I stepped off the plane, I knew what to do. Stop drinking!

In Sardinia my friends and I had shared a bottle of wine over dinner, finished the evening with Limoncello, begun the evening with a cocktail and often had a glass of red at lunch just to aid the flavours of crumbly parmesan and melting prosciutto ham. TOO MUCH my liver was screaming. The Liver/ Gall bladder meridians are in charge of clear vision and of deciding which way to turn. The Gall bladder meridian runs down either side of the body helping the body make flexible choices, will I go this way or will I go that way. A week of rich food washed down by plenty of alcohol was impairing my judgement. I was in the problem and it was swirling around me. I needed distance and space to see things clearly. So I stopped drinking alcohol for a month and stimulated the Gall bladder by eating plenty of fresh spinach, watercress and rocket salad.

Now I can see clearly it didn’t really matter about making the right decision. I can see there is no right and wrong. I made a choice and the journey continues. I can’t mess it up, I can’t get it wrong. My heart is open to love, I love and I am loved.

I have found that relationships are as much about timing as attraction. So they are equal parts of a perfect universe conspiring and our own efforts at manifesting and creation. Phew, what a relief. When I acknowledge that my being loved doesn’t completely rely on the choices I make, I let go of the exhausting need to be in control and to make it happen.

Sometimes this space of allowing isn’t always comfortable for me, it can be mundanely dull and I find it depressingly boring so I fill my life with high excitement of trying to do too many things at once, cooking, writing books, writing blogs, teaching, sorting washing, organising, kids, homework, dancing, dating, puppies etc.

I see clearly now these will not fill the insatiable need for love in my life, for that I need to be still and quiet; to have faith and allow space.

However like an unruly child, I can feel that pesky yin yang balance bubbling up, hoping the universe places Lorcan in my path again and that this time he will be dangerous.

But at least if I keep my liver healthy with plenty of green foods, I will be able to see clearly, what I’m getting myself into

Join Us and Try a Free Class


We offer a free class at the end of the month so you can try Chi Flow before you join.
 Membership is only €39 per month, with over 20 classes included each month.
 After three months, your subscription halves to €20, making it the most affordable Parkinson’s-friendly Qi Gong programme available online.

You are warmly welcome to practise with us and discover your own flow.


💗 Ready to Join?

Click here to become a member of Chi Flow with Jo → CLICK HERE

Or drop in for a class and feel it for yourself (sign up below). Join the Chi Flow with Jo community for live sessions, practice, and support.

You don’t need to have it all worked out.
You just need something gentle to lean into, one day at a time.

Self-administered acupressure or Chinese Medicine is not a substitute for visits to qualified healthcare practitioners.

Knowing how to treat yourself and your loved ones with complimentary therapies like acupressure can be greatly beneficial and convenient. However, for serious and chronic conditions, you’ll want to visit an Shiatsu therapist / Acupuncturist or other qualified healthcare practitioner who can develop a treatment plan based on your unique medical history and combination of symptoms.

The information provided should not be considered medical advice.

How Much!?

How Much!?

Energy of Food Blog

Let’s see if I can remember the courses. First there were tapas plates of fried fish in sweet leeks, monkifish in a rich caper and tomato sauce, octopus in balsamic vinaigrette and a delicious pickled fish with peaches.

Then artichoke and courgette ravioli in a cream sauce followed by prawns over thick spaghetti a light chilli and tomato sauce. Close on the tail came traditional Sardinian pasta with a squid ink sauce, peas and parmasean.

Then a whole plate of huge, coral pink, garlic prawns in their shells. Finally a whole Dorado fish, perfectly steamed with waxy lemon /parsley potatoes with a side of lightly fried calamari.

All of this was a surprise. We had booked the table* solely on the recommendation of Yotam Ottolenghi, the food writer for the Guardian. There was no menu and no price. All we knew was that there were no chips. On that basis and it took little persuasion we decided it was best the kids didn’t go. So it was just me and my friend Paula who sat being served plate after plate of exquisite food.

The dishes just kept coming, each one unique and delightful. I was in heaven and savouring every mouthful. At the end of the meal, sipping limonchello’s we took guesses at how much this gastronomic feast would cost, between €60 and €100 per person perhaps? The bill? €40 each.

I hadn’t had a dessert and we had ordered a second earthenware jug of wine but it didn’t matter what we had or didn’t have, there was a set price.

I like this, it’s clear, straightforward yet absolutely abundant but without the gluttony, greed and waste I’ve witnessed at all you can eat buffets.

Boy oh boy, were we full though, even thinking of it makes my stomach hurt. The stomach/ spleen are responsible for the thinking mind. The mind that replays the past or imagines future scenarios, over and over again.

It can worry and whir, stirring things up so our body becomes stressed and sleep becomes difficult.

That night my stomach had to work double time to digest all the food and flavour combinations.

So to match this I had frantic and fraught dreams of loosing the kids, stealing cherry covered velvet cushions, not finding my hotel room and always an underlying tension of being on the run.

I’m sure they all have different psychological explanations but by the morning my stomach and I were exhausted.

I needed a day of simple and small dishes to rest my stomach and my exhausted mind, beaten senseless by the neurotic thoughts.

So I recommend, if like me your sleep is broken or restless, change up your diet to simple grains like brown rice and millet.

Eat sweet root vegetables and drink plenty of hot water or fennel tea to calm the stomach.

Don’t eat before you go to bed and of course try to eat less.

For me, here in the sun it will be a morning of hot water, figs and fruit, freshly picked from the trees I’m sitting under.

Would I eat it all again …… absolutely, but just not tonight.

*Mabrouk, Alghero, Sardinia

Join Us and Try a Free Class


We offer a free class at the end of the month so you can try Chi Flow before you join.
 Membership is only €39 per month, with over 20 classes included each month.
 After three months, your subscription halves to €20, making it the most affordable Parkinson’s-friendly Qi Gong programme available online.

You are warmly welcome to practise with us and discover your own flow.


💗 Ready to Join?

Click here to become a member of Chi Flow with Jo → CLICK HERE

Or drop in for a class and feel it for yourself (sign up below). Join the Chi Flow with Jo community for live sessions, practice, and support.

You don’t need to have it all worked out.
You just need something gentle to lean into, one day at a time.

Self-administered acupressure or Chinese Medicine is not a substitute for visits to qualified healthcare practitioners.

Knowing how to treat yourself and your loved ones with complimentary therapies like acupressure can be greatly beneficial and convenient. However, for serious and chronic conditions, you’ll want to visit an Shiatsu therapist / Acupuncturist or other qualified healthcare practitioner who can develop a treatment plan based on your unique medical history and combination of symptoms.

The information provided should not be considered medical advice.