Does Sex Scare You?

Does Sex Scare You?

Energy of Food Blog

It used to scare me. It’s taken me fifty years to embrace my body and my own healthy, juicy sexuality. Abusive childhood sexual experiences, misguided religious education and contradictory cultural norms taught me no one loved a girl who loved feeling good and feeling sexy. She would be used, abused and left open to ridicule.

Even now publishing Good Food: Better Sex – A Holistic Health Cookbook that brings sex out of the shadows and onto the kitchen table, has been an act of bravery. I know that talking and writing about sexual health has been deeply healing for me. Just like the #metoo movement it sometimes takes only a few people to speak of the sexual shame and trauma they experience, on a day to day basis, for a flood of recognition to take place in others.

Chinese Medicine’s understanding of sex has been a revelation for me. It explains it’s function without judgment. It’s just another aspect of life which has to flow and express itself, no different than breathing, eating, laughing or sleeping. It’s part of life and without it, we would not be alive.

Sexual energy creates worlds. It is the energy that grows all life. From the mix of Yang Sperm and Yin egg, splitting and reproducing cells until, 9 months later, a new baby is born, that will carry on reproducing cells; bone, blood and everything in between, as they grow through puberty, adulthood, until finally reaching the grave. We are born with this automatic programming, to reproduce at a cellular level.

Just like the air we breathe and the food we eat sexual energy is an essential part of life. It makes the plants, the trees, the courgettes and the daisy’s, the fish in the sea and the birds in the air. All reproduction relies on sexual energy which means its pretty powerful stuff.

A plus is that sexual energy feels good. Nature has designed it that way so that we don’t die out. We are supposed to feel good, experiencing the pleasure of our sexual energy and being alive.

In Chinese Medicine, that feel good, dopamine-producing aspect of sexual energy applies to anything we create, whether that’s dancing, singing, painting, cooking, designing a house or anything we can conjure up and desire to make manifest. It’s an enjoyable expression of who we are. We have brought something into being whether that is a baby or a loaf of bread. In Chinese Medicine, the energy that drives the expression of who we are is also sexual energy. It is passionate and powerful, it creates life, no wonder it’s scary.

Because this energy is powerful, all sorts of people and institutions want to control it. Sometimes with the best intentions, information around sex only relates to the physical act or unwanted consequences. But this method of teaching is not enlightening or educational. It curtails our individual expression and our joyful exuberance of who we are or could be. For me it was like a part of me was suppressed. A part that was joyful and exuberant, that liked to dance in the sunshine and swim naked in the sea, feeling sunshine on all of my skin.

However, the message from school and state was that this sexual side would bring me nothing but trouble. It was messy, unpredictable, and scary so better to keep it controlled and contained. If I didn’t monitor myself and my behaviour following the dictates of society, I felt I would be ostracised, rejected and never find love. However understanding and expressing my passionate, creative, sexual energy has allowed me to find my integrity, my own moral compass. I can trust and respect my actions, this is true love.

Sexual energy shouldn’t be dictated to – by the partner you choose, the religion you follow, or the society in which you live. If wearing a short skirt, red lipstick or stilettos while shopping excites someone else’s sexual energy that is theirs to feel pleasure from. I don’t have to respond, engage or take part in their sexual energy unless I want to feel pleasure, and share the experience with them.

Because in Chinese medicine, healthy sexual energy is not tied to only sexual intercourse it has allowed me to find my voice around sex. I can now express myself as a whole person, not just the parts that are acceptable to my parents, religion or the society in which I live, and I feel like I have regained a limb. I don’t dance like no one is watching, I dance like the whole world is watching and they’re loving it.

This excitement can feel scary because it is unpredictable. Unlike the misguided teenager who just went anywhere to experience the thrill of it all, I know now whether my sexual energy is pleasing others or pleasing myself. I hold myself tip-top of the list, with self-love and safe boundaries but still willing to explore messy feelings. Just like cholesterol levels, blood pressure, and body mass index I can address my sexual health. I can talk about menopause, impotence, premature ejaculation and vaginal dryness without shame and embarrassment.

I am a whole being, sexual and spiritual. The trauma I experienced around my sexual experiences and education was not my fault but healing from it is my responsibility. I didn’t know it at the time but that’s what writing the Good Food: Better Sex cookbook was all about.

Buy the book and watch the video to find out more at:  https://shop.joannefaulkner.ie/#books

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The information provided should not be considered medical advice.

More Sex and important numbers

More Sex and important numbers

Events

In one of my previous blogs, I talked about Sex and the Number 42 – about how every 7 years a strong hormonal change takes place in the body to kick-start the reproduction ability of the body. At 7 we lose our baby teeth, at 14 we enter puberty at 21 we are in prime baby making stage, at 35 our estrogen can begin to decline and at 42 we enter perimenopause and 49……….. here comes menopause.

These are general figures used in Chinese Medicine to indicate the changes in our hormonal body but this idea that, as women, our reproduction ability and energy comes to a halt as we hit menopause is a fallacy. Our body is constantly reproducing.

We make plasma cells daily; colon cells refresh after four days; we make a whole new skin every 2-3 weeks; white blood cells take more than a year to regenerate, and it takes an average of 10 years to grow an entirely new skeleton. The energy that it takes to make reproduction happen is called Jing in Chinese Medicine.

It’s the energy that we are born with, our DNA if you like, that we inherit from our ancestors, no matter what we eat or drink we cannot build upon this energy, it is our constitution.

However, we can deplete this energy through overwork and pushing ourselves past our physical limits; By over emotional situations especially fear and anger and by overstimulating foods such as caffeine, sugar, and drugs (prescription or recreational).

How we have treated out physical and emotional body will show up every 7 years at the times of hormonal change. You may find longterm constitutional illnesses such as eczema, hayfever and arthritis clear up at these pivotal points on our timeline. I personally “grew out” of acute hayfever at 35 which had begun at 7.

I used my understanding of Chinese Medicine to make changes in diet and lifestyle coming up to this transitional time. I am 50 this year and am very aware of supporting my Jing so that transition into menopause requires no medication or sweat filled, insomniac nights.

The Jing is considered one of 3 treasures in Chinese Medicine and it is stored in our Kidneys so it is vital that we keep these energetic organs healthy. Jing determines the management, storage, and usage of chi/energy.

As I mentioned earlier the Jing moves in 7-year cycles, we cannot add to it but we can support it with good foods such as Eggs, Royal Jelly, Bee Pollen, Seaweeds, Almonds, Blue Green Algae, Aduki Beans, Bone Broth and Goji Berries. With good practices such as Qi Gong, Yoga, Tai Chi, we can use breath and body to harness feelings and become emotionally flexible.

Teaching, experiencing, encouraging and nurturing the feminine energy within us, the Conscious Cooking Classes and Tai Chi/ Qi Gong sessions can effortlessly improve sexual health, bringing a balance between passionate fire and flowing water.

Using food, exercise and potent acupressure points we will keep the meridian channels open and flowing. We will experience and share how to prevent leaking our precious Jing and how to nurture and support it so that we prevent accelerated aging.

In a simple weekend, understand the clear connection between our emotions, the food we choose and how that directly affects our health.

Emotional Healing & Community Support

The weight we carry isn’t just on our hips, it’s in our hearts.
 Feeling like you “want to be minded” is your body’s cry for nurture, not discipline.

When you join Chi Flow with Jo, you don’t walk alone.
We move, fast, cook and heal together. That shared energy keeps you accountable and loved through change.

You don’t need to fight your bodyjust listen to her again.
Start with small rhythms: stop eating after 8 pm, massage Liver 13, sip lemon water in the morning, and join our January program to be supported every step of the way.

💗 Ready to Join?

Click here to become a member of Chi Flow with Jo → CLICK HERE

Or drop in for a class and feel it for yourself (sign up below). Join the Chi Flow with Jo community for live sessions, practice, and support.

Self-administered acupressure or Chinese Medicine is not a substitute for visits to qualified healthcare practitioners.

Knowing how to treat yourself and your loved ones with complimentary therapies like acupressure can be greatly beneficial and convenient. However, for serious and chronic conditions, you’ll want to visit an Shiatsu therapist / Acupuncturist or other qualified healthcare practitioner who can develop a treatment plan based on your unique medical history and combination of symptoms.

The information provided should not be considered medical advice.

Why Food & Sex?

Why Food & Sex?

Energy of Food Blog, Events, Home

So many of you who know me, come to my classes or read what I write know that I specialize in connecting how we feel with the food we eat; That for every emotion and organ there is a flavour and often specific foods that can help support us through a healing process, whether that be physical or emotional. But then why start talking about sex?

Is it a gimmick, it is attention grabbing, it is a marketing ploy to sell more books? No, Im following my own flow which is drawing me to allow sex to bring us into conscious connection with our bodies.

In Chinese Medicine the Chi of Heaven, which is the air we breath and the food we eat, mixes with the Chi of Earth, the constitution we are born with, to form our own individual unique Chi. The dance and interplay of these Yin and Yang elements is how we live our life. The quality and health of our Chi comes from both our inherited genetics and the world around us; it is a blend of the two.

The Chi of Heaven is often seen as the spiritual side of the body, the thinking mind, our consciousness whereas the Chi of Earth is our will to survive, thrive and procreate. Sexual energy falls under the domain of the Chi of Earth, it is the Yin, the emptyness from which all life emerges.

It cannot be ignored, shushed or pushed away. It is an absolute integral part of our make up and has huge power for creation and healing. As the Jewish proverb says “Body without a spirit is a corpse and Spirit without a body is a ghost”. So lets get sexual energy out in the open and on the kitchen table.

The foods that enhance sexual energy usually relate to the kidney as it is the organ that controls hormones and reproduction. However all food can help us connect, control, understand and enhance sexual energy as it brings us into our bodies with every sense activated. We see, smell, feel, taste and even hear the food as we eat it.

It is a completely sensory experience and in that way we are completely in the moment. We are not thinking about the phonecall yesterday or the christmas list that must be filled next week. We are here now eating, tasting, smelling and touching the food. That is how we connect with the body, understand how its feeling and give it what it needs. That is sex.

It doesn’t have to be with a partner, it doesn’t have to be about penetration or gratification. It has to do with feeling alive, potent and in the moment. Food for me is the easiest way to connect with how I am feeling and what I need.

It’s my way to connect with the extraordinarily powerful, juicy, dynamic, forthright, creative energy. That’s why im talking about sex and what I’d like to share; the experience of consciously using food to connect with the sexual energy of the body.

Come and explore together at the first event of it’s kind – Eat, Play, Love

Emotional Healing & Community Support

The weight we carry isn’t just on our hips, it’s in our hearts.
 Feeling like you “want to be minded” is your body’s cry for nurture, not discipline.

When you join Chi Flow with Jo, you don’t walk alone.
We move, fast, cook and heal together. That shared energy keeps you accountable and loved through change.

You don’t need to fight your bodyjust listen to her again.
Start with small rhythms: stop eating after 8 pm, massage Liver 13, sip lemon water in the morning, and join our January program to be supported every step of the way.

💗 Ready to Join?

Click here to become a member of Chi Flow with Jo → CLICK HERE

Or drop in for a class and feel it for yourself (sign up below). Join the Chi Flow with Jo community for live sessions, practice, and support.

Self-administered acupressure or Chinese Medicine is not a substitute for visits to qualified healthcare practitioners.

Knowing how to treat yourself and your loved ones with complimentary therapies like acupressure can be greatly beneficial and convenient. However, for serious and chronic conditions, you’ll want to visit an Shiatsu therapist / Acupuncturist or other qualified healthcare practitioner who can develop a treatment plan based on your unique medical history and combination of symptoms.  

The information provided should not be considered medical advice.