Fight or flight? Survive, thrive and procreate, these are the two basic instincts of human behavior controlled by the Nervous system. The first stimulates the sympathetic nervous system (SNS) which controls the body’s responses to a perceived threat by stopping digestion, triggering stress hormones such as adrenaline and cortisol plus prolactin, the celibacy hormone. It shuts down the lateral thinking parts of the brain, it contracts the vagina and releases the bladder. However, the second, parasympathetic nervous system (PNS) is the opposite.  It controls natural balance in the body so it can relax, rest, digest, thrive and procreate.

At this time of COVID-19, most people seem to be falling into the first response section and procreating is the furthest from their mind. This flight or fight response is ok if you are under immediate threat but on a long-term basis, the body and mind will become unwell, causing the very situation that you were trying to avoid. So how can we calm down and replenish joyful love into everyday living? In my last blog, I described how to bring romance back to life with spontaneity and trying new things. But maybe you aren’t there, perhaps there has been too much change and you are feeling terrified in a world that doesn’t seem so certain anymore. Attending to your libido seems the furthest from your mind and that’s ok right now. You have to dig where you stand and take action in a way that suits you. So rather than forcing your sex drive to kick start, begin by simply increasing calm and focusing on relaxation, good health will follow.

Infographic from Good Food: Better Sex

The Kidney and Bladder are the organs in the 5element system of Traditional Chinese Medicine that govern the nervous system. Working on these meridians can release tension from the muscles, relax the organs and improve the breathing so that oxygen can feed the body and the mind. In Traditional Chinese Medicine, we use food, acupuncture points and Chi Gong exercise to balance and relax the body.  The good news is that it is relatively easy to help the body switch to the parasympathetic nervous system where all parts of the brain are in use, heart rate slows, digestion, absorption and elimination of food happens. It also allows the erection of the penis plus lubrication and opening of the vagina to take place, all you need to do is breathe.


Many practices blend body and breath such as Chi Gong, Ujjayi breathing, Yoga and Tai Chi. Here I share a couple of simple breathing exercises from Good Food: Better Sex.


The first exercise – place your hands on your belly, just below the navel. Take some large breaths. As you breathe in feel your hands rise and as you breathe out feel your hands fall. The belly will decrease as the diaphragm pushes the air out. Focus especially on the out-breath. Breath out as long as possible, right to the end of the breath and hold it for three seconds, let the in-breath take care of itself. Do this at least ten times. Taking your attention along with your palms to the area just below the belly button.

The second exercise – sweep your arms up overhead to gather the energy all around you as you breathe in. As you breathe out, bring down your palms over the front of your face and body, as they come to your belly take them to the back, over the kidneys, sweeping them down the backs of the legs and up the inner legs. Come to rest with your palms holding just below your belly button. Do this ten times and feel your body relaxed, kidney’s restored and nervous system reset.

In the book you will find more exercises including breast and testicular massage, practiced to increase health and longevity, plus beneficial acupressure points and food medicine. https://joannefaulkner.ie/product-category/cook-books/

You don’t need a partner to have Good Food: Better Sex you simply have to be your own best lover. Put your health and wellness first and good things will follow. It is perfectly normal that libido changes especially during times of an unforeseen pandemic and hormonal shifts. Don’t begin to think there is something wrong with you or your relationship. Just breathe, and know that all this will pass.


If you would like to work with me to increase your vitality and energy, to connect with your body, balancing hormones and jump starting your libido – why not book a 1-1 session with me  and I can help you access the innate health of your body, to tune-in with your sexual energy which in Chinese Medicine is at the core of feeling well and ageing slowly.

I can help you know which points to press, which foods to eat and how to communicate with your body

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